Why You Need to Pursue Your Ukrainian (Russian) Woman
by Kurt Inagaki

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In a recent forum post, an American man wrote, "I have read previously on this board that a man needs to pursue (to be) a man. But, a woman needs to do likewise."

My initial response as an American man active pursuing a wonderfully “Ukrainian”, Ukrainian woman, was “oy, that guy is going to be disappointed”.  In my opinion, this thought that Ukrainian or Russian women “need to do likewise” is in strong conflict with the culture and general core values of the women there. And yes, explaining the unexplainable (women) notwithstanding, I’m going to try anyway.

When asked, many-even most, of us men would say we love the "femininity" of the women from the FSU countries. We all have Masculine and Feminine traits. It's a matter of degree, men usually have more of the masculine and less of the feminine and women, visa versa (Thank you Lord!) "Polarity" in this instance is a great thing, the more masculine you are, the more you will be attracted to and be able to thrive in the company of a truly feminine woman.

Unfortunately, we American men (in general), have been more "feminized" and oftentimes when we meet these seemingly "ultra-feminine" women, our true masculine nature is awakened only to have our "training" subjugate our true nature and to compensate, we try and force these women to become more masculine and less feminine. To meet us "half-way". I actually believe these women are just wonderfully feminine and the disparity is created by our own androgyny - which is a great thing, since this is something we men can learn to "fix" and we are at our best when we are fixing things - so even the solution makes us more masculine!

So having her meet us half-way, sounds very American, fair, just, etc. Where's the harm in that right? In this model, by virtue of giving up the pursuit, half-way, we become less masculine and at the same time by asking them to come the rest of the way, they become less feminine and we both lose part of what so attracted us to each other in the first place. Of course this isn't a conscious thing happening, but the affect is very insidious.

And in time, is it possible that this or similar scenario can be played out, time and again, with things like: "What do you want to do today?"; "Where should we go on vacation"; "How do we handle finances"; "What schools should the kids attend"?

It's your boat Captain, once she chooses to come aboard, she is your 1st mate and she will work, and keep you, but you must provide the direction. And you know, she is perfectly capable of steering, it's just not what she wants, that is your domain. In fact, she may run your ship to ground just to see if then you will master the crisis and assume the direction again.

One of the reasons I think we men need to pursue is to show that our resolve is greater than her fear and when she chooses you, she submits a large part of her "masculine" to you, which then allows her true feminine gifts to flower. It is her submission of this part of her to you that is so powerful, because it is so liberating for her. And you will know when this happens, if you have run the race, pursued. If you have not, you may never experience this or may not realize what it means  when/if it happens.


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