Relationships with Russian (Ukrainian) women and Marriage Business in Ukraine
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This article is addressed to those of you who are seeking marriage with a foreign woman and are planning a trip to Ukraine (Russia). Let us talk about recent changes in women's attitude to marriage in Ukraine (Russia), and about the major shift in marriage agencies' business strategy, which is beginning to affect the men's marriage tactics, as well. The uniqueness of Russian culture will never fail to surprise foreigners, and will always create lots of work to interpreters, scam detectives, and relationship counselors!
I am going to write about the facts I noticed during my latest trip about Ukraine. I will talk about Ukraine, but nearly all of these thoughts can be related to Russia, as well.
First, let us touch upon the major change that has been taking place in women's minds over the recent 2-3 years. The improvement of life standards, the development of realistic understanding of life abroad, plus the rapidly spreading tendency to make careers and become successful and independent - all these factors caused dramatic decrease of women's interest in marrying foreign men. In addition to this, the local marriage agencies' policy is becoming very unfavorable for women.
As the result, the following changes in women's attitudes have been discussed lately by analysts and marriage business operators in Ukraine. The approving comments given in brackets were written from numerous talks with women, during my trip about Ukraine. These are the the common tendencies in women's attitudes to international marriages - the decreasing interest of women to joining marriage agencies' catalogs (Foreign people are no longer people from another world! I meet foreigners in my office, and in the streets every day!);
a more practical attitude to participating in the marriage agencies catalogs among the women who do submit their profiles (What benefit will I receive if I register with your agency? I know you are going to benefit from my participation, why should I let you do this without any benefit to myself?);
development of an understaning that foreign men who are looking for wives through marriage agencies are not serious, or do not have clear understanding of what they want (These men are just entertaining themselves. A man cannot take a woman seriously if he knows that she's been meeting other foreign men daily for months and years!)
growing tendency to look for alternatives to international marriage (With a good education and job, I am more independent, and I can wait till I meet MY man, no matter if he is Russian or a foreigner)
A classical, killing female logics, isn't it?
Well, gentlemen, I will leave this without comments now. We'll discuss this in one of our next articles.
What about marriage companies' strategy in Russia and Ukraine now?
Marriage agencies have to adjust and restructure their work, of course. These are the the most significant tendencies-
the rush to increase the number of women in the catalogs has shifted towards trying to attract fewer, but only very beautiful women;
more and more agencies agree to work as affiliates of larger dating networks, independent marriage agencies quickly die out;
the quality of relations between agencies and women has chaned: the agencies tend to establish an agreement with every beautiful woman, when she "assists" the agency, while the agency "assists" her;
the agencies hold most of the correspondence for the women; the woman gets to know about the correspondence details only when the man has written about the date of his arrival to her city;
marriage agencies are beginning to realize that correspondence is no longer the sourse of making money.
On the opposite, the local services and introductions, are-
marriage agencies are unwilling to provide contact information of women to anybody; even when it is paid for, there is no guarantee that the information you receive will be correct;
marriage agencies are eager to place their women's profiles to a number of internet websites at a time - they tend to participate in large mariage networks, and open new websites;
local marriage agencies change their office addresses very frequently; they tend to conceal or change their contact information quite often;
the legal mechanism of prosecuting marriage agencies for giving false information to clients does not exist. Unfortunately, men cannot hope to get their money back if the services were not provided properly. The agencies realize this, and use this to their favor.
These are the main peculiarities of the Ukrainian marriage business today. How should men react to this?
Useful tips to remember when dealing with Ukrainian (Russian) marriage agencies:
1.Try not to let marriage agencies dictate you what to do, or put you in dependence on them - even if they seem very friendly and assisting. Majority of marriage agencies realize that there is no method to make them responsible them for providing false/incorrect/incomplete information. They will not hesitate to sell you bad information, and your money will never be returned back to you. They can find numerous excuses to avoid taking responsibility for their dishonesty.
2.When you are in a marriage agency office, make payments for introductions at the moment when the woman has arrived to the meetng, or right after the meeting. 2 of very 3 women will be badly late or will not turn up at all, so do not be shy to remind the marriage agency manager that you want them to make you a plan of meetings asap, and call the agency frequently to ask for aditional confirmation of every meeting.
3.Keep your own notes of every meeting. For your convenience, ask the agency manager to print the profile (with a photo) of each woman who was invited for a meeting, and write down the expected time of the meeting on each profile.
4.Take a number of steps to make sure you have planned your time rationally. As a woman may not arrive to a meeting, ask the agency manager to call the woman 40 minutes before her arrival for confirmation that she is coming; or ask them to invite another woman from your list of introductions for this afternoon.
Useful tips to remember when meeting Ukrainian (Russian) women through marriage agencies:
1.Do not forget that the woman may have had numerous experiences of meeting foreign men before she met you, and she may have a predominated opinion about foreign men.
2.Women who have been involved into marriage agency process for quite a long time, develop their own system of evaluation of a man, and, quite often - trust their very first opinion, and loose interest in the man after the first 5 minutes of conversation.
3.The very first meeting with a woman can not give you an objective and full understanding of her; otherwise, it can mislead you because the very first impression is not always correct. If you still feel it is worth meeting her once more, do this the very next day. Your opinion may be changed.
4.The woman may surprise you with the way she behaves at the very first meeting. Do not make final opinions based on these first-time impressions – her behavior may be the result of her cultural environment; the evelopment of relationship may reveal her other qualities for you.
5.The woman who is trying to "test" you by offering to go to an expensive restaurant at the very first meeting may be mislead by advice of her girl-friends. To avoid an unpleasant discussion about where to go, find a place that you like (prior to the meeting), and then tell her from the very beginning that you are going to invite her to this place. Say this firmly and see what her reaction is.
6.In any situation, be yourself and say openly what you feel is worth saying. Russian women love to be led. Do not hesitate to lead the way!
7.Right after the first meeting, open the woman's profile form and make a couple of lines of notes about your first impression. Thee notes will help you to reestablish contact with her if eventually you feel like meeting her again.
8.Do not forget to take her contact information – telephone (and, possibly, street address)
9.Commonly, men have very little time in each city, and too many women to meet. There is no time to give it a thorough thinking, and to "brush up" your emotions. Try to shedule the first introduction meetings with all women for the very first days of your stay in each city. Then, you will have a few days to contact the selected women again and meet them in a relaxing environment.
10.Many men come to Ukraine in summer time. A very good idea is to invite the woman to a little picnic somewhere in a forest, at a lake, or by a river. The way she behaves there; the way she is prepared for the picnic will be very similar to her behavior in family. If she is actively participating in the prearrangements, if she is active and assisting during the picknic, you may expect the same from her in future. If she is relaxed, inactive and lets you fuss around her and entertain her, you will have to do this in future, every day!
These are the main tips to remember. You are welcome to write us, or take part in our weekly online discussions, and share your ideas on how the first meetings must be held. Your comments will be highly appreciated!
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