What Every Happy Couple Needs Once A Week, Month, Year
by Irina Timchenko
Leave your comments about this article belowEvery happy couple needs to develop a common rhythm of life. It's important to reach some balance between living their individual lives and feeling togetherness in every thing they do.
All beings on Earth tend to be inclined for doing some repeated, rhythmical activities. It is probably related to the cyclic, seasonal style of being on our planet. Thus, creating some rhythm of doing things is very natural. In relationships, it often produces the “glue effect” - repeated actions grow into a habitual rhythm of living that keeps couples together through the whole life.
My husband and I are a happy couple; we even use this phrase as a nick on some Internet forums. We've been together since we were teenagers, and we've had that stamp in passports for 19 years now. We start every morning by asking each other “Well, what's your list today?” - and each day there is work, visiting friends, doing hobbies and sports, and there is only a little bit of time left to spend together. To stay connected during the working day, we simply give each other a very short phone call. With no real reason, just to touch bases and to show care. If I know he must be busy meeting people and the call may not come in a good time, I may just send him a message saying “I'm bored, I want to see you :) ” or even something with more intimate content, to remind him of some special moment that is a secret just between the two of us. I never expect any immediate action in response to such messages; but I feel warm inside when I imagine his face when he reads the message just in the middle of some important working conversation!
I think every couple needs to develop a habit of doing pleasant things together. Some couples watch movies every evening, others play table games, others do sports, and some may want to spend evenings out, in a new place every day. Whatever it is, this must be something that you both enjoy. You don't need to be good in this, you don't have to demonstrate any skills, you have no responsibility here – just relax and have fun together. If this activity becomes boring at some point, develop a new one. But there must be something pleasant to do for both of you, daily.
Another thing that we practice daily is sharing tenderness. It started many years ago. My husband is a man in classical understanding – not very talkative and not the one who would show his feelings to anyone. Unlike him, I need much tenderness – warm looks, touches, hugs and kisses are very important to me. So I had to patiently teach him to be tender by applying my tenderness to him every time when it was appropriate (but never in public). Through time, we developed a habit of touching, embracing and kissing each other at least a few times a day, just in a casual way. This helps us remain in our common rhythm. I know that he loves these moments at his computer when I suddenly come up from behind very quietly, touch his hair and kiss him in the back of his head. Without any reason. Why not?
It's good to have regular intimate life. At least once a week. This keeps the unique connection between you strong and refreshed; this helps both of you feel confident and protected. Keep your recent intimate moments in your sweet memory, and don't be shy to think about them for a few seconds, even during your working day!
We can talk a lot about improving the intimate life, but this would be a different story. The only advice for couples who live together for years will be - keep to the regular rhythm, but make it feel exciting and new every time.
Some couples also have a habit of doing routine things together. Some share the responsibility of Sunday shopping, others announce Saturday a cleaning day, others do gardening on weekends. There are couples who visit a church or devote time to a common hobby once a week. Whatever it is, add a bit of flirting to this activity. In my opinion, a lot depends on the woman's ability to flirt here. Even cleaning your home on Sunday may be turned into an exciting, funny and even erotic activity. Do this once, and next Friday your husband will be the first to remind you about cleaning the house on Sunday!
I remember how my parents had a habit of going to forest or mountains each Sunday, to walk all day in the fresh air being surrounded by beautiful nature. They always took me with them, and I practically don't remember Sundays spent in the city in my childhood. My mother grew very excited about being in the nature, and my dad just enjoyed watching her excitement. I think it was their way to build up this feeling of togetherness – an activity that they both loved - each in their own way - that kept them together and away from the whole world at least one day every week...
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